where do I belong (James)

Jerome called James as soon as he'd apparated home.

"Hello James. I know this is kind of strange and out of the blue, but when I saw your name in my contacts I just thought..."

A beat.

"That if we were both at school and we were both in the dorms, it would be something I'd talk to you about, you know?"

@James Potter

James had just walked back into his bedroom after drying himself off, using the time Alcathous was with his mum to take proper care of himself and to, hopefully, have a few chances to play with his partner.

"Aye, Jer, that was, er, quick, aye?"

Opening one of his clothes' drawers, James scratched his head and nodded, his crystal thumping against his chest. "Er, yeah, I get what ya mean. What's goin' on, Jer?"

@Jerome Estrada

"What other variations of 'in a moment' do you know?"

He sighed.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit rattled."

He sat on his bed.

"I don't know if it's just me, or if I've entered the twilight zone or something - like an alternate universe - anyway -"

He breathed in.

"In the last few months I've really noticed the sheer amount of people our age, in and out of school, who are so bloody casual about purist ideology. It just seems as though everyone has suddenly switched themselves over, saying the M-word again, thinking it's bloody funny or something."

He shifted on his bed, now lying on his back.

"I just feel like every new person I speak to I have to be wary of, whereas before that sort of attitude was in the minority! I just don't get it - what the bloody hell is going on?!"

@James Potter

"Twilight zone?"

James listened and nodded as he threw on some pants and a pair of corduroy trousers that felt a bit too loose for his liking. Agh!

"Really? Fucking hell, that sounds bloody weird, Jer. Before I, er, dropped out, yeah, it used to be easier to avoid those arseholes 'cause they always stuck to each other. Bloody hell's goin' on, Jer?"

What the hell's in Hogwarts' water?

"I heard Voclain ain't headmistress anymore, do ya know what happened there?"

He wasn't too upset about Professor Riddle getting the role as he was supportive and accommodative to him months ago, but was there more going on than he thought?

@Jerome Estrada

"Exactly!"

He actually sounded relieved to be talking to someone with sense. Funny how it was coming from James Potter - someone he once thought was pretty useless on every account.

"I think there were a lot of students who complained about her, especially after everything last year. But... Dahlia Travers, who I thought was very friendly with Atticus, knowing his standing on everything - almost slipped out the M-word. Amara Jordan - from a family who she said was dead set against that kind of crap. Was absolutely fine with Melanthius Burke, who mouths off more about muggleborns than anyone, as long as she could get away with creeping around at night! And her stupid boyfriend called me the M-word to my face. Now she's marrying the idiot!"

He drew in breath.

"There's a band wagon here that I don't like the fucking look of!"

@James Potter

"...It ain't that surprising that, er, Dahlia's like that. I dunno if Atti knows, y'know, but he already ain't on good terms with most other purebloods, especially 'cause we're together."

He nodded some more as more names of their peers were listed off. "That's bloody surprising 'bout Amara, but Ashton's always been a douche, y'know? He was only tolerable when I was bloody blitzed!"

James laughed pretty loudly to try and lighten things up a bit, that was something he was always good at.

"I dunno how anybody bloody tolerates Burke, I dunno how Lou Lou and him are friends, I dunno how he got Head Boy, I don't bloody get it! Atti never had anything nice to say 'bout him. And for Amara to be bloody fine with him?????"

Merlin, what the hell had gone down since he left and became a father? It was like he completely missed any hint of the rumor mill involving their peers nowadays!

"She's marrying Ashton?????"

@Jerome Estrada

"Maybe it wasn't obvious to you... But I thought as she was friendly with Atticus, she was like him? From an awful family but actually thinks for herself?"

He really needed to stop trusting people just because they appeared friendly.

"I know, I know..." It was comforting to hear James agree with him. "It's actually just a relief to talk to someone who gets it. I'd prefer if people hated me because I'm a prefect, not tried to get at me simply for being what I am."

He sighed.

"It just hurts."

@James Potter

"Er, imagine I'm patting ya shoulder through the crystal, aye?"

James dug through all of his shirts until he found one of Atti's shirts. Oops, he didn't know how that got there, but he was sure there wouldn't be any complaints...

"Y'know what the sad bloody part is, Jer? They prolly ain't gonna do anything until blood's being shed again. Everyone's too bloody comfortable with the system. It's sorta why I wanna have the sprog attend Ilvermorny when he's old enough. Er, besides, er, not being seen as a celebrity there, aye? America's just sorta ahead of us."

Wow, so they are getting married?

"Er, that's, er, surprising. Never thought either of them wanting marriage."

@Jerome Estrada

Jerome chuckled.

"Yes, you're right," he said, turning solemn once more, "You're absolutely right. I had been worrying about that too, but I thought I was just being overdramatic. I suppose if enough people say you are being overdramatic, you start believing it."

Hmm, he really didn't blame him for sending his child to a different school.

"Perhaps I'll do that exchange thing."

He laughed sourly.

"Mm. I know. It is strange, but... if I'm completely honest, I think I may have inadvertently caused it..."

@James Potter

"Well I..."

He swallowed a very parched throat.

"I think Harrington felt the need to get a real move on... because he felt threatened. By me." He didn't actually enjoy saying that. It sounded like he was really full of himself. "Sorry. I bet you're cringing right now. But er..."

His throat felt like it was closing up.

"At one point it seemed like we were actually friends. Then we weren't friends. Now... I don't know. She just thinks I'm a massive idiot again."

He sighed.

"I'm not expecting her to dump him at once and leap into my arms here. I just... care about her."

@James Potter

"Ashton felt threatened by you? Damn, that sorta stuff never happens with him, y'know? He thinks he's the sexiest bloody bloke to walk 'round Hogwarts when he ain't that special."

Plus he wasn't going to be near anybody that could threaten his sobriety. James' priorities were just different now.

Slipping Atti's shirt on, James hopped onto his bed.

"Er, how quickly has this all happened, Jer? Er, it does sorta explain why you focused on her more, y'know?"

James chuckled as he pulled out some biscuits he took out of the kitchen. "I mean, ya could tell Narks was on a power trip, but you? You were just lookin' out for her like how ya kept sending me to get detoxed."

@Jerome Estrada

"Hmm. Yeah."

He had to think about it.

"All this has happened over weeks - it hasn't been that long at all, really. Uhm..."

He had always been focused on her more than any of the other troublemakers...

"Yeah," he said weakly, "I'm glad you see it that way now. I know I don't go about things in the best way a lot of the time... My Dad says I'm a bull in a china shop... But I'm more like just an ordinary bloke in a china shop with lots of china. One sudden movement and it all comes crashing down?"

He wasn't the best at analogies.

"The thing is, I still think she gives a shit. Somewhere in that curly bloody tanked up head of hers... she gives a shit about me, she's scared, she needs someone. Other than Harrington. Or his sister."

@James Potter

James nodded, understanding what Jerome was trying to get at. It was strange speaking to him like this, especially it being the summer holiday.

"Sorta makes you wonder what they even got in common other than getting drunk and high all the time, y'know? When you go back to Hogwarts, try to hear her out more, if that prick lets ya, y'know? Er, how are ya gonna hold up with me not bein' there? 'Cause I'm gonna stick to my plan of some remedial uni once Evelyn's out."

@Jerome Estrada

"Okay... I'll try and do that. Perhaps I was just so blinded with this idea everyone is against me, I didn't think of allowing her to say her side of it."

James was a good bloke.

"I'd prefer it if you did come back..." he said, as they were being honest and Frank with each other right now. "But, of course, you shouldn't just come back because I want you to. You've got to do what's best for you. I sort of get it now... feeling paranoid, feeling as though everyone will turn against you. I mean, I know in your case it's a whole lot more than just that. But... I don't know..."

He laughed.

"You're a lot more than you think you are. You have a lot more worth than you think you have. I know you say you don't want to follow in your dad's footsteps and stuff, and that's understandable as it's a high expectation to live up to. But I think if you've been given this platform of being a celebrity, there's ways you can use it. That's just what I think anyway. Sorry if I'm rambling..."

@James Potter

"Er, it's alright."

James chuckled sheepishly. He never thought they could be so civil!

"Er, ya should know that it wasn't Nott and Rowle's bullying that made me, er, drop out. Contrary to what our peers think, aye? It did, er, make me do it quicker, but I planned it since I found out Evelyn was pregnant. It, er, took me a while, but there was a voice in me brain telling me to get my shite together for the sprog 'cause it's my one chance to do better."

@Jerome Estrada

"Yeah, I know. You've said about fifteen times now that's the reason."

He rolled his eyes and was glad James couldn't see.

"Just think about what I said though. Yes, you're a Dad, but that's not all you are."

He was glad James did 'step up' and become a better person. James always wanted to shrink off into the shadows though, whether it was because he was hiding from his Dad, or the attention, or the expectation. Nothing Jerome said would ever encourage him if it hadn't in the past.

"Blood won't have to be shed. It won't. I'll do everything I can to try and stop this from getting worse than it already is. I'm not trying to be a hero... I just want someone to do something, no one is, so that someone has to be me."

He shrugged at his crystal.

@James Potter

"Just sayin' 'cause people still think that!"

Oh, Jer. At least he was able to find one way to annoy him during this very random call. Just like they were back in school again!

"Aye, ya got more initiative than most of us. How do ya plan on doing it? How the hell did Burke end up with Head Boy??? I know it's gonna be bloody weird comin' from me, y'know, but ya deserved it."

@Jerome Estrada

"Just by telling the uttermost truth. First using the school newspaper, then maybe if there really is enough agreement - some kind of society can be formed. I just want to get everyone who is thinking similarly in the same place, but that's not always easy."

There was a pause then-

"Alright, love you."

Then he emphasised: "Not you. My dad. He's going out. Yeah. Anyway. Who knows how Burke got it. He's enjoying rubbing it in though... that's probably why I got so annoyed with Amara. He was rubbing it in, and Amara was sort of... encouraging him."

He rubbed his nose.

"I don't know, I didn't find it funny though."

He smiled.

"Heh... you would have hated it if I was Head Boy and you were still there. Admit it."

@James Potter

"Aye, aye, that's sound."

Love you?

Busting up laughing, James breathed, "Sorry, Jer, but that was a bloody cracker'!"

He was going to have to tell Atti all about it when he got off work!

James was twirling around the chain the crystal was attached to absentmindedly. He needed to move his hands somehow!

Hmm, would he have hated it if Jer became Head Boy if he still attended? Funnily enough, he just never thought too deeply since he knew he would be a father.

"Er, I dunno, I wouldn't have to deal with ya bitchin' 'bout the window in the dorm bein' open!"

@Jerome Estrada

Again, he was glad James couldn't see him. He had his hand covering his face, mortified.

"Yes, yes - very funny."

James would probably get on with his Dad, he thought. Except James was definitely lazier, his Dad was more carefree.

He made a point of noting that they should probably never meet.

"I don't know, I'd find some way of bitching at you," he said, laughing. "Not that there's any point of talking about it now. I'm trying to just let it all go. It's hard though, I did really want to be Head Boy..."

Then he thought about Narkissos Jetson being in completely the same position. He, too, had been ambitious and driven about getting the role.

"What's your opinion on Jetson? Honestly?"

@James Potter

"Narks is nice when he ain't acting superior, I guess. I dunno, I know he and Cherry are really bloody close, yeah? He wants to become Minister which is, er, noble? I dunno, but he likes muggleborns most out of the purebloods. His dad's bit odd, buy he's nice. Er..."

James scratched his head.

"That's 'bout it?"

@Jerome Estrada