not the best idea (amara)

He'd seen boys getting five or six steps up before the girl's dormitory stairs turned to a slide. He'd also seen them turning it into a game: how many steps can you climb to until the enchantment triggers. There was a tally somewhere. Jerome had docked house points for horseplay on several occasions, but now he was looking up at the girl's dormitory staircase and thinking can I get up there fast enough without it triggering?

He hadn't noticed a girl descending - slower and slower as she noticed him - pulling an expression that was something between sympathy and pity. She announced her arrival at the bottom by sighing loudly.

"I'll take you up there if you really want to go..."

Before he could protest, or realise that his limbs had set into motion, the girl had hold of his arm and was dragging him up from where she came. By the time she'd left him there, said a rather derisive you're welcome, and left: Jerome peered around the corridor sheepishly as though any one of these doors led to certain doom.

No - now he was up there, the only way back down again was by the slide: a slide that said: I was a pervert hoping for a peek. Urgh. Well. This had been his plan anyway, hadn't it? To go to the seventh year girl's dorm and see that the kitten settled in before Amara returned: a nice surprise for her, and less awkward than handing the kitten over - in public - when anyone could see and think something of it.

Now that he'd got to the dormitory and gone inside, cat basket clutched and hanging beside him, he wondered if this had been one of his less rational ideas...

So this was where Amara had resided for the past six years. It was just the same as his dormitory really, with slight differences of bed positions, and the fact that it distinctly smelt of girl and not sweaty, farting boys.

Placing the cat carrier onto the floor, Jerome shut the door quietly and released the kitten. At first he was uncertain about coming out, but soon enough his fluffy, ginger fur bolted across the carpet and started sniffing, attacking and playing with a towel crumpled at the side of someone's bed. Awwwh. Going to him, Jerome perched on the edge of the bed and leant down, petting him with a broad smile, until he looked up at the bed's nightstand.

He recognised some of Amara's possessions.

So he was actually sat on her bed, not one of her dorm mates'.

He looked at her pillows that had been plumped by the house elves while they were in classes that day. His hand ran over the material of the cover, as he thought about how her hair would splay around it as she slept, and how lovely it would be to see the first flicker of her eyes moving in the mornings.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking those things, or even be in there. This was dangerous territory, and yet he couldn't find the motivation to see sense and move...

@Amara Jordan

Amara was just walking back into the Gryffindor common room from cheerleading practice. She wasn't sure why she had even chosen to continue cheering. Sure, it was fun and she got to be the center of attention but as Ashton had reminded her a few times, she should be busy planning her wedding instead of doing silly things like cheering. A sigh left her lips as she thought of it. There was still so much that needed done as far as planning went. That is, if she really had much say in how things were done anyway. She knew that his family was one of those pureblood families and they liked their gatherings a certain way. If she was lucky she might get to help choose the flower arrangements or something. But it didn't matter, she told herself. Even if it turned out to be some huge fancy party that would make every pureblood jealous, she wouldn't let it get to her. Even if it wasn't her style. She loved Ashton and she would endure anything to be with him.

She ran her hand through her magically straightened hair as she debated whether to go up to her dorm or whether she should just hang out on one of the couches for a bit. She did still have her cheer uniform on, so maybe going up to the dorms was a smarter choice. She could always come back down after changing into something more comfortable. So, she made her way up the stairs to the girls dorms like she did all the time, not thinking anything of it.

Then she opened the door and she froze. Her jaw dropped a little bit as she stood staring. Jerome was not only in her dorm but sitting on her bed! She hurried inside the room and shut the door. "What are you doing here? You know you could get in trouble for being in here!" Her tone was more curious than scolding, though. What had brought him up there, breaking the rules. And why was he sitting on her bed? Did he even know it was her bed? She was so confused right now! So much so that she hadn't noticed the kitten playing with something somewhere in the room just yet.

@Jerome Estrada

Punching out the daydream was the sound of the door, followed by the owner of the bed, and the electric shock of sudden terror that blazed through him. He stood up so fast that he'd overlooked the beams joining two posters of her bed from above, and his head smacked loudly against it.

"Argh--!"

The kitten bolted. Stars and bursts were flooding his eyesight as he took in a sharp breath, swore, and swayed with his hand clamped to the point of impact. With his eyes still straining and the horrible, thumping pain surging through his skull, he launched into a clumsy explanation: "It isn't what it looks like. I was just - er - there was this girl, and she forced me - well, she didn't really. The idea was - uh... I'd just thought you might not be around until later. Not that I was sneaking around like a creep!"

Holding one of her posts and rubbing at his forehead, he could now make out her form. She didn't look or sound remotely angry, so there was that, at least. The problem was how he was gawking at her, realising her legs were bare right the way up to her thighs. If anything, the look on his face was the creepy part. His mouth was slightly open.

"Uh..." he tried, hearing his blood through his ears. He knew his face must have been a sight: blotched and scarlet and squinting. Swallowing hastily, he looked away. Thankfully, where he looked, the kitten was. He was chewing the edges of a rug. "Well - that card I got you for your birthday wasn't the only thing I got for you. So this is a belated present, because he wasn't ready until now. But - um - surprise." He pointed down at the kitten.

@Amara Jordan

Amara winced as he stood up so quickly that she could actually hear the impact of his head hitting one of the beams that made up the bed where she slept every night. That had to have hurt, she thought. And sure enough it appeared that there was quite the red mark on his forehead from the impact. He quickly covered it with his hand as she frowned. "Are you okay?" She asked, the curiosity of what he was even doing there dimming for a moment to be replaced instead with concern. He didn't answer but instead launched into some sort of explanation for why he was there.

She rolled her eyes and laughed when he swore he wasn't a creep. That thought hadn't even crossed her mind. Maybe it would for another girl but they were friends, right? Sure, it still seemed odd for him to be breaking the rules so blatantly. Unless he was here to make good on his threats and search her trunk for things she shouldn't have. She sure hoped not because she hadn't been able to hide all of her alcohol bottles yet and at least one still hid in the false bottom of her trunk, she was pretty sure Jerome would be smart enough to find it if he went looking. But he wasn't lecturing her yet so maybe he hadn't gone looking?

Arms crosses over her chest as she began to get suspicious. "You're not here to make good on your threats of searching my stuff, are you? Because that would be majorly overstepping your authority." She said, knowing that he couldn't really go through her stuff without breaking some sort of rule. And why was he looking at her like that? Had he truly knocked himself senseless with that bump to the head? She raised a brow as he started explaining before she turned to look where he was looking. That was when she spotted the little ball of ginger fur. She actually gasped a bit. She had never actually had a pet before and the kitten was absolutely adorable.

Tears threatened to fill her eyes but she hurriedly turned away from him and moved over to the kitten slowly, as if it would run away from her when she did. Only, it didn't. She knelt down and picked up the small animal and held it to her chest. "I've never had a cat before. I have no idea how to care for it..." She said as she scratched his ears, making sure she pulled herself fully together before she turned back to Jerome, holding the kitten close to her chest. "He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Are you sure you want to give him to me?" Because he would be a much better cat owner, wouldn't he? He was all responsible and everything... She most definitely was not.

@Jerome Estrada

His heart was speeding up as he measured her reaction carefully, paying close attention to every small movement she made. When she gasped, he felt his insides soaring - when she turned away, he felt a pang of unease - but when she crept up to the kitten, slowly and carefully, he was in her arms and Jerome felt his face crack into a broad, relieved smile. He hadn't realised that he was holding in his breath, and released it in a blurted chuckle.

"Of course I do! He's all yours," he insisted, positively beaming at how the fur ball was snuggling up to her. "Don't be silly," he said, giddy on the high of seeing her happy, "You can look after him - that's exactly why I got him for you. Not just as a companion, but to prove to yourself that you can."

The throbbing in his forehead had completely dissolved as far as he was aware. Now that he was seeing Amara with the kitten, he could forget a hundred knocks to the head. Probably.

Going over to them, he smiled at her before scratching fondly at the feline's little ears. "And now I don't need to raid through your dormitory to confiscate your stashes. Ginger can sniff them out for me, can't you boy?" He added affectionately, letting him rub against his hand. Looking back up at Amara, he was grinning. "Just kidding."

He wanted to see her like this - all day, every day. Happy. His smile lessened, and his eyes softened.

"Happy birthday, Amara."

@Amara Jordan

Amara couldn't keep the smile from her face as the little kitten rubbed his face against her cheek, a soft purring sound emanating from his little body. She had never thought about having a pet before, she had never really even considered it since she was always out doing something. She spent very little time in her dorm and it wouldn't be fair to a pet if she never paid it any attention. But then again, students brought their cats with them through the school all the time, didn't they? Maybe she could be the same. He would probably fit perfectly in her bag... She looked back to Jerome now that she had managed to clear the happy tears from her eyes. "I love him." She said, not able to wipe the smile from her face, especially as she saw the smile on Jerome's face as well.

Amara just kept on smiling as he came over and began to scratch the kitten's ear. Then he spoke again and she shoved at his shoulder playfully. "Maybe I'll just have to teach him to guard my stash instead." She said, her smile turning mischievous. Wouldn't that just backfire on him? Then again, then she would either have to leave the kitten where she kept her stuff or start keeping her stuff in her dorm and neither sounded like a good option. Not that she had really been thinking of doing it anyway.

"Thank you, Jerome." She said, truly meaning it. And not just for him saying happy birthday but for the kitten and for being a friend to her... She had so few real friends, it seemed. It wasn't lost on her how much things had changed. Then she closed the distance between them in a one-armed hug, not wanting to squish the poor kitten she still held in her other arm. "Seriously, thank you." She said much more seriously. This did mean a lot to her and she wanted him to know it.

@Jerome Estrada

Seeing her shred tears of joy over his gift made him feel incredibly lucky. Everything seemed brighter, golden and brilliant: as though he could have done anything, tried everything and felt great doing it, even if he didn't succeed, because nothing could throw him off his place at the top of the world. He was dimly aware of how much his cheeks were hurting and his eyes were squinting: all he could feel was joy. She was smiling too. She was moving to him. He would have flung out his arms to welcome her if it wasn't impractical and perhaps inappropriate.

Bah - inappropriate. Who cares. He thought giving her a pet was inappropriate - but that didn't turn out to be true, did it.

When she put her arm around him, Jerome looped his around her lithe little frame. Her bare skin was warm and smooth beneath his fingers as he rested them just above the waistband of her skirt. His thumb glided across her skin, a small caress that he couldn't help. The feel of the dip in her waist put a spark of frenzy through him to: urging him to trace every curve while he could get away with it.

"I like seeing you like this," he told her gently, looking down at the kitten wriggling about in her arms. "Especially when I'm the cause of it..."

Now that - that may have been inappropriate. It was the high he was getting from it, he just couldn't help himself.

"You're very important to me, Amara..."

@Amara Jordan

Amara felt silly tearing up over a birthday gift. She didn't tear up over silly things... But when she looked down at the perfect little ginger-colored fluff ball in her arms, she just couldn't help it. She blinked rapidly to try to blink the tears away. Surely he would poke fun at her if he saw the tears in her eyes. All her blinking managed to do was cause the tears to be stuck in her thick lashes instead. She used one hand to wipe them away quickly before she had hugged him. What followed she hadn't expected. She had expected him to allow her to hug him or something, maybe even for him to pull away from her, but never that he would reciprocate the gesture.

She was thoroughly surprised when he wrapped his arm around her and she felt the caress of his hand at her bare skin where her top didn't quite cover. She didn't stop him though. It was innocent enough, right? She had to believe that it was. She had to or she would have to admit that Ashton was right and then everything would come crashing down. She didn't truly let people in often. It would be just her luck that as soon as she let someone else in she had to push them away... So she had to believe it was just a friendly gesture.

The kitten wriggled in her arms as he spoke and she smiled up at him. She laughed softly. "You're not going to make fun of me for getting all teary over a birthday gift?" She asked because what else could she really say to that? The only one who ever really seemed to care whether she was happy aside from her family was Ashton. It was kind of nice to actually have someone else who cared. She blinked up at him when he spoke once more. Was she really that important to him? How had that happened? "And this time last year I'm pretty sure you hated me." She said. She was pretty sure he had hated her then but things had changed.

@Jerome Estrada

"No," he assured gently, glancing between her lashes and the dew that clung to them.

Of course, she would think that he'd hated her. There were nights that he'd spent awake, throwing himself around underneath the sheets angrily, stewing over how she'd teased and taunted him out of punishment. She was tricky and slippery; always managing to get right underneath his radar. Playing innocent. Batting her eyes at him. Even flirting with him.

And... he'd loved every second of it.

He hadn't realised until recently, but what other explanation was there for his persistence, for feeling the need to catch her right in the act?

"I know it came across that way," he said, "And I definitely didn't go about it the right way. But I did care about you. I didn't want you drinking so much and falling into bad habits, or being around people who might hurt you. I probably didn't even realise it at the time myself - I thought I was just doing my job. But there's a reason why I tried so hard to take these things away from you."

He was stroking her side.

"Now I just want to give instead of take."

@Amara Jordan

Amara gave a relieved little smile when he said he wasn't going to poke fun at her. She had expected him to laugh at her, to tell her she was being silly and to roll his eyes like maybe she was being a bit annoying. But instead, he spoke so gently to her it almost made her tear up just a little bit more. She inhaled deeply to try to calm herself, to pull herself together. She had loved to tease him, to make him so angry he couldn't even hold it together enough to punish her because he had to walk away. She had loved to see how his cheeks reddened and he tried so hard to be the rational one while she just smirked at him mischievously and wriggled her way out of whatever punishment he might see fit. It had all been fun for her. Sure, she had always made it seem like she was annoyed that he was trying to catch her but somehow she always seemed to come out on top so she didn't mind it as much as she let on.

She bit at her full bottom lip as he spoke once more. She had no idea what his reason could be but she didn't know if she wanted to ask. His hand was still stroking her side and she knew that she should pull away. She knew that this was becoming a little more than just a friendly interaction. Even she couldn't deny that they were straying away from a friendly embrace. She knew that she had to move away. She did just that, moving out of his embrace to sit on the edge of her bed. "You shouldn't care so much, Jerome." She said, a little sadly. Ashton was always telling her that Jerome had feelings for her that was above and beyond friendship but she didn't want to believe it. She just wanted to believe that people could care about her without there being ulterior motives. And maybe it wasn't necessarily an ulterior motive... And maybe she had brought it upon herself because she used to flirt with him to get herself out of trouble before she had dated Ashton, before they had gotten engaged even. She put the kitten down on the floor as he wriggled in her grasp, letting him explore as she looked up at Jerome.

@Jerome Estrada

This is exactly why he didn't drink or take drugs: that kind of feeling wouldn't last forever. His high was cut like a chord as soon as he measured her disposition: a troubled look, a tensive nibble of her lower lip; he even thought her body recoiled, but he could have imagined it. This wasn't what she wanted to hear at all. She was pulling away from him. It wasn't in a cruel way, nor did she seem disgusted or offended, but this wasn't what she wanted.

Of course it wasn't what she wanted...

There he was, spilling out his innermost confession, and what did he expect? For her to stay where she was, say how flattered she was, kiss him? He was deluded. That was a fairytale. This was reality. The cold spike of it hit him like a punch to the gut.

"You don't have to call him Ginger, by the way," he heard himself say, as though someone else were saying it, "I'm not exactly inventive when it comes to names so... you can call him whatever you like."

He watched the kitten rushing off to attack something else. He couldn't look at her. The tightness in his chest would pull until he couldn't breathe.

"Orange... amber... orangey..." he tried, forcing a small laugh that wasn't the least bit convincing.

@Amara Jordan

Amara could tell she had hurt him... It wasn't in what he said or anything like that, no, he still tried to act like everything was just as good as it had been when her arm had been wrapped around him and his hand was caressing the bare skin between the bottom of her top and the waistband of her skirt. She knew it wasn't all the same, though. She wasn't sure what he had been expecting. She cared about Jerome a lot... She didn't even know when it had actually happened. But she loved Ashton and she couldn't do this to him. She might have loved flirting with whoever she wanted whenever she wanted but when she had committed to Ashton, she had meant it. Even if she maybe felt her heart breaking a little bit for Jerome. She didn't want to hurt him.

"Don't do this, Jerome." She said, noting the way he wouldn't look at her, the way he tried to force a laugh when she could hear the tightness in his tone. She hated that she had done that. Sure, she had always enjoyed annoying him but she didn't want to actually hurt him. She sighed. "I care about you a lot too. I don't want to hurt you." She said as she reached out to him before letting her hand fall back into her lap before she could actually touch him. That wouldn't be appropriate right now, would it? Even if touch had always been one of her strongest forms of communication. She couldn't give him false hope. "And Ginger is perfect for him. I love it." She said, trying for a smile and hoping it would help somehow even if she knew it probably wouldn't.

@Jerome Estrada

Hearing her pity was exactly what he needed to fall back to reality and accept it. So she knew how much he cared for her, perhaps she realised that his feelings went beyond the boundaries of friendship. But she definitely didn't deserve to feel sorry for him, and he didn't want to endure a pitying gaze or a second thought whenever she was affectionate towards Ashton in front of him. He was bigger than that. Besides, the thought of her suffering at all at his expense...

"You're not hurting me," he assured, ready to meet her gaze confidently. Yes, his chest contorted and writhed in knots, but he managed it nonetheless. "I'm just glad you're happy with your present. And maybe that uniform suits you a bit. Just a little bit. Enough for a friend to get carried away."

Perhaps it was that he was finally being truthful with her, but he felt a sense of relief about it. These feelings had been clustered up inside of him, and although he hadn't uttered a blatant confession: it was out in the open now. She knew all she needed to know. He cared about her, he just wanted to see her smiling - happy - blessed and assured with herself and her life.

... right?

"So," he said, breathing in and exhaling would-be contented sigh. "How is that all going? The cheerleading?"

@Amara Jordan

Amara wanted to believe what he said, she wanted to believe that she hadn’t caused him any sort of pain and that maybe she was overreacting, at least a little bit. And the confident set of his jaw as he spoke helped her to convince herself that what he said was true, or at least that’s what she told herself. ”I love my present. And I guess I do look pretty irresistible so I guess I can’t blame you there.” she said with a mischievous little smirk. This was the facade she was most comfortable with after all. The one that seemed to think she ruled the world. Fake it until you make it, right? If she pretended to be completely confident for long enough then it had to eventually be true, right?

Then he changed the subject sort of and she was relieved for the change. Her smile grew a little more genuine. ”it’s going well. I doubt anyone will be able to take their eyes off of us to even watch the match when Gryffindor plays next. she said, as if she truly believed it. ”Its been a lot though… with having to try and come up with wedding plans, keep up with classes, cheerleading. she sighed. It was a lot and to say she was secretly freaking out would be a bit of an understatement.

@Jerome Estrada

Pretty irresistible was an understatement.

In his own dormitory, his bed sided a window, although it was around ten foot away from his mattress: enough to make out the pelt of rain or the sway of wind. In the night a light appeared sometimes, probably from the grounds far below, but enough to cause a bright fissure through the curtains. When he was half asleep, his mind constructed a figure there, barely visible beside the starkness of the light, with only the curve of her naked back playing against the shadows. Her curly head would turn and he saw the slight protrude of her lower lip: a side silhouette. Her teeth would graze across her lip, slowly and seductively, and he knew she was looking at him. She was beckoning him with that look. And once she knew she had his full attention, she released the sheet she had grasped up to her chest and it flittered away like smoke. Now she was moving towards him, naked and glorious but fading, then gone as his eyes closed and took him off to dreams where he was forever chasing her.

"Yeah, you are..."

He knew that he shouldn't have said it, but he didn't want to disagree after he'd fixed the image inside his head again.

Things needed to come above the belt now. He was in her dormitory, she had a boyfriend, and things were already awkward between them. He was glad she didn't feel awkward enough to ask him to leave and the subject moved seamlessly, but they'd entered a new problem: the wedding.

"Well..." He sat on a rug on the floor opposite where she was sat on her bed, idly stroking Ginger as he jumped and scattered past every so often. "With the wedding plans, that could be something you and Ashton discuss together. Maybe try making a list of everything that's needed, and take it one step at a time. You can't think of everything all together on your own, or you'll get overwhelmed. I know it's not an exact comparison but... kind of like with exams? And seeing as you have a big time frame for the wedding, it can just happen gradually." He was trying his damned hardest to separate the actuality of Amara getting married to Ashton and just being a friend with helpful advice. It was hard. His chest was stinging with every word. He saw his dreams where he was rowing over rivers and climbing over hills just to see she was still smiling - but she had her back turned and was getting further and further away.

"I don't want to be a broken record, Amara, but you can find enjoyment in all these things. Some of the cheerleaders would like seeing you outside of practice. You can hang out together, just relaxing, talking, shopping, having a good time with friends. It might make it feel less of a commitment and more of something you actually enjoy."

@Amara Jordan