tell me this night is over ((one-shot))

Following that straining 'conversation' with Ptolemy, James stress smoked two cigarettes out in the courtyard, used his pillow as a makeshift punching bag due to the gym being occupied, and finally made his way to the library under his invisibility cloak. He could hardly find the words to verbalize just how he was feeling. At least he got a cup of cool, fresh fruity punch that felt reinvigorating. Wait. Did he, for once, manage to get his share of regular punch? It tasted so refreshing as it slid down his esophagus. Casting a refilling spell on his cup, James went way into the back of the library to set base while nobody else was around. To make his presence less suspicious, he would have to navigate other sections of the library before finding the books related to parenthood.

How fun it was being James Sirius Potter.

As he passed through the aisles, he let his fingertips run along the spines of the books; it was clear how many of them hadn't been checked out in a while as they quickly became covered in dust. Wait. Why has he being so self-conscious about the reality of his situation? He was all alone in the library. Why did he always have to lollygag around no matter what it was? He would casually skip his more boring classes like it was a trip to the Burrow.

He was not ready to become a father.

How can he lead a good example by being so careless and irresponsible? Although he certainly had the ability to, he never applied himself too much in class. He took all sorts of sketchy substances to have some escape from being the Potter heir. He lived a self-fulfilling prophecy of following his namesake's reputations simply because he wanted to have some control over his life. James quickly sent Evelyn a message to apologize for ditching and then one to Louis asking if he could bunk in his dorm for at least the remainder of the weekend. He couldn't sleep in his own dorm knowing he was stuck in the same tower as Alayna Bloody Nott. That bitch! Lien didn't deserve her! Aghhhh!

James had to stop himself from yelling. The last thing he desired was any kind of attention. Why didn't he follow his instincts and personal feelings by not attending the damn dance in his first place? His few minutes there were a total waste, and he felt shittier than ever.

Going to the appropriate section, he sighed as he knelt to glance at the book titles until he found whatever was appropriate for his situation. If he can't be with Lien, at least he can occupy himself with this. His market value as a soon-to-be-out gay bloke would diminish the moment the sprog is born, but this was something he needed to prioritize if he was going to try and move on.

While he thought about it, he pulled the Marauder's Map out of his jacket to find out just how concentrated the school was in the gym. This was how he planned his escape routes to whichever was the most desolate spot once done gathering what he needed. He ended up grabbing four books from the section and decided that the polite thing to do was to write Ms. Vega a note about the books he took from the library and find somewhere inconspicuous to stick it.

James found the cart full of books that needed to be sorted and stuck the note underneath one of them. That should do it.

He left the library and began heading to the music classroom with a tear down his face.