lost in your eyes ((lien))

James stepped into the music classroom after spending time in the gym doing some aerobics; he had the realization that it had been a while since he spent some time to himself self-soothing with music. Rejoining the quidditch team had taken up much of his free time, and, frankly, he had felt as if his shoulders were going to crumble any moment with the stress that's been running through his veins. He needed whatever distraction he could get from his brain as his usual energy-boosting substances wasn't what he craved. Maybe part of it was that he longed to impress Chang and gain his respect. How was he to do that if he was constantly intoxicated?

Eyeing around, James opted to go for the piano this time. He wasn't in the mood to have bloody fingertips as a result of plucking all sorts of guitar strings. Deep breath. Deep breath. The piano wasn't his typical choice of instrument, but he thought it'd be the most comforting of the ones he could access without trouble. He placed his hands on the keys playing whatever melody came to him.



@Lien Chang

Lien was in fairly high spirits after leaving his virginity at Gryffindor tower. Not only had he managed that feat, but the girl he had lost it to just so happened to be one of the most popular, prettiest girls at Hogwarts. He found himself wanting people to know about it, but at the same time he didn’t want to be one of those guys who bragged about every lay they got. So, if he was asked, he wasn’t exactly going to deny it.

He was just on his way from the library when he heard a soft melody coming from one of the music classrooms. He wasn’t familiar with what this person was playing, but he took a peek inside to see who was playing it. To his surprise, behind the keys sat James Potter.

He snuck into the room and hovered there, quietly, watching him play. He couldn’t help smirking to himself. He never expected James to be so elegant and refined when it came to playing the piano. When it appeared the song was over, Lien gave him a small applause.

@James Potter

Hearing an applause, James jumped not expecting an audience. "Aye, teach is that ye or some broad?" he joked with a chuckle as he cracked his knuckles over the piano keys. Urgh, he'd forgotten how easily his hands got exhausted after years of not having regular quidditch practice. Turning around on the stool, his heart skipped a beat as he glanced at Lien up and down speechless. He was his audience? Act natural. Act natural. What could he say that didn't sound strange?

"Aye, Chang, didn't take ye for a music type." That seemed normal enough.

@Lien Chang

“I didn’t really know you liked music, either.”

He may have heard some things about guitar playing, but it was the sort of information he had tried to ignore before getting to know James. He didn’t like to know more things James Potter is good at. Nowadays it didn’t really affect him too much. There was a better understanding between them.

“My Mother is a musician. She plays the piano as well,” he explained, “She taught me a little, but I never really had the knack for it.”

@James Potter

James chuckled feeling oddly relieved that it was Chang who was mesmerized by his impromptu piano playing and not Alayna or some rando. Oh, how he always looked so dapper and put-together. He didn't know how he managed it.

"Eh, my folks ain't really the artsy types, y'know? Ministry officials and all that. It was just somethin' I did after droppin' quidditch, and I ended up enjoyin' it. Now I'm back on the team, I don't have as much time for it..."

His eyes focused on Lien's hands; he began to wonder how they felt. Were they smooth? Slightly calloused? He had to know. "How 'bout ye play me a bar or two?" James got up from the stool and patted it down.

@Lien Chang

“That’s a waste,” he said with a sigh, but James was just so bloody lucky wasn’t he? He had several talents that he could choose from.

He tried to calm himself down. Why was he getting so worked up again? Remember - he told himself - you did have sex with Alayna.

Lien looked at him. “When I said that i didn’t have the knack for it, James...” Nevertheless, he approached the stool. “I meant that. So don’t expect any Wolfgang Amadeus here.” He sat down promptly, stretching his fingers out slightly. Seeing that a piece of music had been left there, he opened the sheet. Good - it was something simple enough that he could play. Taking a breath, he managed a little of the main melody. Chords and other things were just lost on him at his level, but he managed to make something happen with a few mistakes here and there.

He stopped suddenly and sighed. “You see. I told you I was terrible at it,” he said grumpily.

@James Potter

A waste? Eh, James just wanted something new to do. "I could've tried, eh, I dunno, arithmancy or somethin', but I wanted somethin' hands on." Academics weren't his strong suit, especially as he had no chance of getting sorted into Ravenclaw.

Leaning his arm on top of the piano, he listened as Lien played and mentally traced his hands and digits. James hadn't realized just how dainty Lien was in comparison to him. It was cute. What a word to describe such a studious bloke. "Eh, yer better than some of my classmates the past few years," James chuckled as he moved to be behind Chang.

"I think ye need to better position yer hands and body. Yer a bit tense and believin' that yer not good doesn't help you improve. Ye shoulda heard me the first time I tried to play the guitar. Took me a few months to figure out chords." James started to hunch over Chang and placed one of his hands on top of the other's. An aroma flew straight to his nostrils, and he unconsciously took a deep breath. It was sweaty? Or whatever was close to sweat. It was pleasant.

"Just gotta shift yer fingers a lil' like this..."

@Lien Chang

Lien frowned, believing that James was just trying to be nice. Why he was, though, he didn’t understand. It was slightly alarming to have his voice right beside his ear all of a sudden, and then his larger hand enveloping his bonier, smaller one. James’s fingers were stubbier, and they were rough on the ends. Lien’s hands were soft for a man’s, but there were a few blistered patches on his fingers where his quill chaffed at his skin after a hard day’s work.

His eyes were capital-O open when James guided his fingers.

What the hell was this?

Still - he remembered his Mother doing pretty much the same.

If anything, he was tensing up more now. He couldn’t say anything either. The situation was so bizarre, he just didn’t know what to make of it. Still, he was following James’s guidance somewhat. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice. But there’s something really strange going on here he thought, Like that time up in the astronomy tower. It’s the same sort of thing.

@James Potter

Once James was done repositioning Chang's fingers, he hummed to himself before stepping back. "Aye, try that. If that doesn't help much, the piano might just not be ye instrument. I dunno how to play a tuba or anythin' like that. Brass confuses me," he stated having enjoyed the closeness. Act natural Act natural. Good thing he was wearing looser trousers instead of what they had in gym class.

"Take a deep breath. A really deep one. Relax yerself. Sorta looks like ye need a massage though..." And he'd love to be the giver of one. Oh, what was he thinking? Chang liked, urgh, Alayna, and was likely straight, but why couldn't he brush it off like his past straight, er, crushes of sorts? "Maybe ye just need to let go. Have fun with it without carin' 'bout the result. Avant-garde music exists, y'know?"

@Lien Chang

It was slightly better now he'd backed off. Perhaps that was just the best way of showing him. He tried again to follow the glide of keys that James has suggested, but he slipped once he'd mentioned a massage.

There it was again. That weirdness.

"Maybe I could ask Alayna," he said shortly, for some reason wanting to remind James of his status with her.

"I'm not sure about that. Following guidelines is what I do. Who am I to pretend I'm better than any of these musicians? I may as well play their music instead of trying to invent my own. Besides," he said, smirking a little. "I've been told I don't have the best rhythm."

@James Potter

He shuddered upon the mention of Alayna. Blegh. It was more painful hearing him mention her, but he had to stay cool and natural. After all, it was just the two of them.

"Maybe ye just need to stop comparin' yerself to others," James commented trying to think of ways to empower him. He felt desperate to give Lien the ego boosters he deserved; he doubted Alayna would do similar outside of some superficial, canned compliments. "Who cares 'bout rhythm unless yer dancin'? We all start somewhere. Have fun with it! There's different scales than 3/4 and whatnot, maybe ye just need somethin' else?" Hmm...

James crossed over to grab a random assortment of music sheets and a flute. "I can sorta see ye playin' the flute. Maybe ye'd be better at those instruments than me..."

He returned to the piano and handed the flute over to Chang.

@Lien Chang

Lien frowned. Everyone - everyone compared themselves to others, to a certain extent. James seemed more passionate about all of this than he was, but he supposed it was rather infectious.

A flute was handed to him. Lien stared at it, rolling it about in his hands.

He looked up at James. "I don't know the first thing about this, I'm certain that I won't be able to play it."

@James Potter

"I'm sure ye can even if it'll take lots o' practice. Can't go far without practice and havin' fun."

At this point, James was choosing instruments with the sole purpose of being able to touch Chang's hands. He unconsciously went for one of the more phallic ones. "Ye gotta hold it horizontally, and ye blow through the side that doesn't have lots of openings. Yer fingers move around the groups of holes for the right note. Intimidatin' at first."

Wow, he didn't realize how deep Lien's eyes were. It was almost hypnotizing. Act natural. Act natural. From the other side of the flute, he covered one of the holes with his thumb and blew some air into the mouthpiece. "Don't have t' stick yer mouth on it either!"

@Lien Chang

While James was demonstrating how to play the flute, a smile suddenly crossed over his face. James was certainly trying hard to make amends for all the times he'd caused problems for him, and Lien felt like he was appreciative of that. So what if he was a bit touchy feely - wasn't his cousin known for that as well? Maybe it ran in the family...

"I suppose it makes sense to try something like that instead of the piano. I can take it in my dormitory then, and annoy everyone when work is frustrating me. A piano is slightly impractical to fit inside a dorm, even when it's possible to shrink it down first."

He pushed up his glasses, and took the flute off James again. Their hands brushed slightly as he did. He tried copying what James had done, but it was a little more difficult to get any sound. Then, suddenly, it happened. Lien's face lit up.

"This may be good for stress. I think you were onto something here."

@James Potter

"Yeah, and ye can play it in the courtyard on a breezy, spring day when all the flowers are bloomin'..." Very masculine thing to say. Very masculine thing to imagine. James felt amazing being in Lien's presence, especially now that he found an instrument he could master! He had to savor it and prolong it as much as possible; this was more euphoric than any of the drugs he's taken.

Grinning, James began sorting through the sheet music he grabbed until he found one suitable for the flute. "I figured ye mighta suited a different instrument. Maybe ye'd be good with woodwind instruments in general. Ye should master this one first before givin' any others a go..." Maybe they would be able to bond over music with time? It'd be nice to jam with someone other than his classmates or Reed once in a while. "How 'bout you try playin' this?"

Grabbing a stand, he placed the sheet music on it with the appropriate page opened.

@Lien Chang

Lien uttered a laugh. It was an airy, carefree laugh that didn't happen all too often. Thinking about breezy springtime courtyards and being surrounded by flowers sounded ridiculously feminine. Although he knew James was making fun of him, he was on the same page. James was funny. Everyone said he was, Lien just had never agreed about it before.

"You'll have to show me the notes first... unless this is My First Flute For Grown Men," he muttered idly, flipping the page back so he could see the cover. It was missing. "Do you know them? Once I've got a grasp on that, I'll probably be able to play some nails-down-the-chalkboard version of this."

What the hell, right? It was time to let go of his inhibitions a bit.

@James Potter

Ah, right, the notes. "I think there's some sorta cheat sheet somewhere. Reed had to spend a weekend improvisin' in the muggle world once he realized how dire the department was. Tough shit, y'know? But it's nice to have a teach who actually cares 'bout their subject." Reed also barely knew how to handle a classroom as displayed in gym class, but that just made him more enjoyable to learn from.

Going to Reed's desk, he began shuffling through the disorganized filing cabinets until he found the folder full of cheat sheets. "Convenient, aye?" he asked holding up the folder. James began flipping through it until he found the one for the flute. He then performed a duplication spell on it so Lien could have a copy of his own.

Smiling, he did his best to layer the reference to be visible on top of the sheet music. "I don't think ye'd sound that bad." Of course, that could just be the glowing feeling distorting his hearing.

@Lien Chang

He wondered whether he should take music classes, but having a teacher like that bothered him. Yes - he'd heard some good things. That he was good at providing inspiration in the students, and encouraged them to get to their full potential; but Lien was someone who benefitted more from a traditional style of teaching. Strict, to the point, no messing around.

"Why am I not surprised?" He took the sheet, and looked over it. He started to move his fingers across the flute, referring back to the sheet, then nodded slightly to himself.

"You're far too optimistic. Does that run in the family as well?" Smirking, Lien started to play a little of the tune. It was slow and shaky at first, and sounded pretty dire. But once he'd done the first page over a few times, he began to get the hang of it. At least it resembled music and not just noise. "I'll work on it."

@James Potter

"'Cause the school's absolute shit with the budget. Gotta funnel it all into quidditch and stuff that don't enrich lives." That time, it was clear how serious he was. James had a lot of issues with the hierarchy and whatnot at Hogwarts in general, but everyone would think he's joshing around because he's James Sirius Potter.

Too optimistic? "If ye got an image to keep up, yeah, but I really think ye don't give yerself enough credit and patience." Even when it sounded shoddy, James felt awful proud of him; he felt a sense of responsibility to get Chang out of his comfort zone here and there. "Practice makes perfect. Very few people master skills on the first try."

@Lien Chang

Lien glanced away from him. It was a touchy subject with him, as the only way he saw out of his situation was by doing well, but sometimes he wondered whether he just wanted to be recognised.

"I know that..." he murmured vaguely. He may have been a perfectionist, but he knew that miracles didn't happen. "Well that's just it, isn't it. The best is given to the children of the main benefactors of the school. It doesn't matter how accurately I compare Fluxweed to Knotgrass, they get a special mention for how much they're improving by managing to put their gloves on correctly."

That was always the way it was.

"Isn't your Dad a benefactor? Surely he has some substantial influence around here." He was surprised James just hadn't gone to his Dad if he was really upset with the way things were. Surely it was easy to go to him. Perhaps his bitterness towards his Father spanned to actual resentment though, and his pride got in the way of doing such a thing.

Why was he wondering so much about him anyway?

@James Potter

"It's mainly the purebloods doin' that damn shit. When I was growin up, 'Arry told me about how Draco Malfoy's father bought the Slytherin quiddich team top of the line brooms. Bullshit then, bullshit now. Sure, my aunt 'Mione was Minister, but it's the aristocrats who's still in charge," James commented being able to mentally list numerous examples of such low-level corruption within Hogwarts alone. "My grandmother got me this new broom when I didn't even ask for one. The one I used last time I was on the team is perfectly fine! Some people have good money for the first time and lose all sense of practicality..."

If there was one thing his periodic withdrawal phases were good for, it was that he often sat alone reading about the state of the wizarding world. It was something to keep his mind occupied when he didn't feel like socializing.

James shrugged. "I mean, yeah, he got some favoritism and put on a pedestal, but I don't see what kind of changes he'd make since he benefits from the status quo. Instead of actually doing something world-changin' outside of killin' Lord Voldemort, he ended up becomin' part of the establishment by workin' in the Ministry. Sure, yeah, I love my cousins and my aunts and uncles, but I wish our peers would just see me as any other bloke..." He glanced down before taking a seat back on the piano stool facing Chang.

"Y'know how a few weeks ago ye asked me if I had any actual friends? I gave it some real thought and really, outside of my family, I don't actually have anyone. It's soberin' to realize when ye've been hounded since birth, y'know? Guess the closest I got is Evelyn and ye. "

Imagine telling him last school year that he'd be getting all vulnerable with Chang out of the entire student body.

@Lien Chang

He thought that he was hearing from an entirely different person. While listening to him there were moments he was bewildered, others he thought poor little rich boy, and then finally he started to realise how much smarter James was than what he put across. He didn't think James was capable of being reflective. He seemed to just goof around a lot, playing the loveable idiot. Lien saw now that it was just a big cover up.

"I'd forgotten that I'd said that..." he admitted, but once James had mentioned it, he remembered it clearly. It was strange how that had stuck with him and Lien had completely forgotten about it. Now he seemed embarrassed about having said it at all. "Well, I, um..."

He didn't know that hearing a confirmation of their friendship would be so rewarding. He was trying hard not to smile.

"I never really had friends, either," he confessed, "I just, um, pushed people away. I suppose you're probably the same. From the sounds of things."

Thinking back to the astronomy tower, this was the moment when James had put his arm around him. Lien had been his usual, moping self, and James had put his arm around him...

Lien looked at James, and swallowed. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes a bit, then replaced them once more with a small, awkward cough. His hand reached out, but it stopped very suddenly. He pretended to have an itch on his arm. No - he wasn't as bold as James was. He couldn't just hug him like that. He clutched the flute to his chest instead, looking tormented.

@James Potter

It felt relieving to be able to unbottle some of his thoughts and views after years; he hadn't realized just yow famous his family was until entering Hogwarts, and as he got older, the more he found himself craving privacy. If he had been public abo his resentment towards being famous by existing, being the Potter heir (the invisibility cloak was cool at least), and other things, there'd be too many questions he didn't want to answer. It was safer to play off of his namesakes no matter how much his opinion of them soured upon finding their detention cards. It'd be his luck he'd be named after two bullies who wound up martyred thanks to some prophecy...

"Yeah, I do." Most of the time, it was unintentional. It was exhausting living the social life he did. "So many entered my life to take advantage of the fame I had no choice in. Yer not like that, and I appreciate it." What was it that made him change his opinion of Chang so quickly? Did he like him longer than he initially realized? He was figuring out how to deal with an actual crush after all. The hesitation in Chang only intensified his yearning; a part of him wanted to jump onto Chang and at least give him a kiss on the cheek.

That'd just be too weird at this point. He didn't want to make the situation awkward or end up having Chang exit his life as quickly as he came in. He walked over to Lien only to feel just as afraid to touch him. At what point would it not seem casual and platonic? Instead, James cracked a sheepish smile at him. "Are ye alright?"

@Lien Chang