What do you mean (Louis)

Carina walked down the hallway avoiding bumping into other people but her mind was elsewhere. She was worried about Louis. He had been distant and kind of cold towards her lately. She understood he was going through a rough time. But she wanted to be able to help. As if on cue, she saw him across the hall. She walked over to him hoping he was Inna somewhat good mood or at least would let her help him, "Hey Lou Bear."

@Louis Weasley

For someone who had never been a negative person, Louis’s mind was full of everything but positivity. He felt guilty because he couldn’t do anything to console and support his family: they were all bereft and nothing that he said or did made any difference. He also felt guilty because he hadn’t been particularly close to them this last year.

He had been heading back to the common room, hoping to go to bed early. Then a voice stopped him in his tracks. For a moment he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Then he had this very strained, very false smile on his face. ”Hello, Carina. How are you?”

Carina looked at him and could see the forced smile and it hurt a bit, "I'm wondering what's going on with you? I mean, I know what's going on with you. But I mean... What's going on, Lou?" She didn't want to call him out for being distant lately. He had every valid reason to be. But it still hurt, "Is there any way I can help?"

@Louis Weasley

Louis looked at her as though he was looking straight through her. His expression was glazed over, like a corny Christmas commercial.

”I was just heading back to the dormitory,” He explained, as though she hadn’t said anything. ”I was in the library but it’s a bit too quiet there. I mean, I prefer a little bit of sound really. I don’t know.”

He wasn’t making an awful lot of sense. He looked down at his shoes but was still smiling.

Carina stepped up to him and placed a hand on his cheek, "Louis? Honey, I'm gonna take you back to your common room, ok?" Something was off with him and she wanted to make sure he got back safe. She reached out and took his hand, "We can talk while we walk."

@Louis Weasley

Louis didn’t look at her when she touched his face. He didn’t really feel much at all. Being utterly besotted with her one minute and then feeling cold and distant from her the next didn’t make much sense to him.

”No, I’ll go by myself. Just don’t worry.” He said, trying to loosen himself from her grip.

Carina could tell something was wrong. She felt her tears start to form behind her eyes, "Louis please talk to me. I'm worried about you, baby." She wanted to hold him and protect him. When he removed his hand from hers she frowned visibly, "Louis come on... I can help."

@Louis Weasley

”Mackenzie was right...” He began all of a sudden, losing the smile at long last.

”It keeps replaying over and over in my mind. People who may have needed me felt forgotten about, or second rate, because I was too selfish to realise. I spent all my time... doing things that were purely in my own interests, and not others’. Now there are two children in that tower who have lost their Mother.” He pointed vaguely in the direction of Gryffindor’s tower. ”And I’m just trying to be there for them. James is a complete wreck. Albus is too. I know that they’re depending on me to be their support, and I haven’t even worked out my own feelings to any of it!”

His voice was raised towards the end.

”I don’t know what to do, but I can’t do this!”

"MacKenzie's not herself lately. We all saw that. But she will get better." She listened to him and sighed, " Louis, I know you feel you have to take care of everyone. But you don't. You need to talk care of yourself first." She wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be ok, " Maybe there's a counselor or someone you can talk to if you don't feel comfortable talking to me. Even though you should feel comfortable with me."

@Louis Weasley

”I just need to spend time with my family. Like I haven’t been these past four months, because I spending most of my time with you.”

He couldn’t quite look at her when he said that. He knew deep down that it was unfair of him to say that: it wasn’t Carina’s fault at all. He just couldn’t help the way he felt about it.

Carina felt hurt by his words but understood he was in pain from everything going on, "Ok. Yeah, we've been spending alot of time together. That's because we love eachother." She knew she loved Louis, but she had never really told him it before, "I love you, Lou. I'm always gonna be here for you." She tried to find the right words to try and make him feel better, "What do you want to do now?"

@"Louis Weasley*

"..."

He knew that a month ago, he would have told her that he loved her too. Straight away - without hesitation. Now he didn't know how he felt about anything. Everything just felt and looked and smelt and even tasted different this side of Christmas. He thought about what he said about January Blues - this was more than just that.

"I think... it's best if we don't see each other for a while..." He murmured, feeling a sting behind his eyes again. "It's not you. It's just... everything right now. I'm sorry."

Carina felt her heart break when Louis said they shouldn't see eachother, "Are you... Breaking up with me?" She felt like she couldn't breathe. Her head started getting dizzy and she felt like she was going to throw up, "Fine." She said realizing what was happening. She removed Louis jacket from her body and threw it at him. She couldn't bring herself to walk away from him though. She sniffled and wiped her falling tears, "Is this really what you want?"

@Louis Weasley

He caught his jacket. Yes - this was for the best. While everyone was grieving and his family was in a state of unrest, he felt it was unfair to continue going as he was with Carina. He did feel sad about it: he looked back on their time together a few weeks ago at Christmas, and it was like seeing another version of himself.

He just... wasn’t that person right now.

”I’m sorry.” He repeated, almost inaudibly.

Carina shook her head "Whatever. Just go then." She couldn't even bring herself to look at him. She wiped her eyes before looking up at him, "You know, I thought you were different from the rest of these guys. I didn't think you'd leave like this. I... This isn't you. So when you figure things out, you know where I'll be."

@Louis Weasley