It's gonna be ok (James)

Lily got James to the common room as quickly as she could. She was worried, he hadnt said one word the entire way there. There was a lot to unload. Him being gay, him becoming a father. They were going to need some tea for this. They got to the common room and lily at on the couch, "What do you want to discuss first?"

@James Potter

If there was a time to smoke a doink, it was this. A friendly-petty game of truth or dare had led James' hereditary temper to erupt like a volcano; he was sick and tired of not having any say in dispersing his private life, and the moment he did, James ended up causing more drama on top of it. If the possibility of ruining his budding friendship with Lien wasn't enough, the entire school knowing the fact that he's bred was the cherry on top of a shit sundae.

Rubbing his face, James threw himself onto one of the armchairs and promptly took out a cigarette. He needed this smoke badly. Something to feel normalcy.

"I dunno, the fact that my life's been a bloody circus show since birth?!"

@Lily Potter

Lily didn't understand the struggles that James felt. "What do you mean?" She asked, as she summoned a house elf, "Can you please bring us a pot of tea. Thank you." The elf disappeared and she turned back to James, "Has your life really sucked that much?" She didn't understand. She loved her life. Why would James not love his?

@James Potter

"Let's see, my fuckin' life began the moment our 'rents married and the papers speculated on when they'll reproduce. Here comes me. I pop into the picture, and there's tabloids speculatin' on my house, who my friends are, if I'm gonna fuckin' be an auror like 'Arry or go into quidditch like mum. I got named after two bullies who got fuckin' martyred from dyin' young at war which automatically means I'm never my own fuckin' person. At least 'James' is a common 'nough name that there's plausible deniability if I was born to anybody fuckin' else. Add Sirius to it and all fuckin' bets are off."

After beginning his angsty monologue, James finally lit his cigarette and took a long drag before blowing out some smoke. His rant could be heard throughout portions of the tower with a couple of curious first years quietly coming down to find out what was going on.

"I can never have any fuckin' privacy, and it makes me sick. Ye wonder why I always lock myself in my room on summer break? Ye fuckin' know why now. At first, I enjoyed it 'cause who expects to be bloody popular and liked the first second of startin' school, y'know? The moment puberty hit, I got more conscious of all the shit 'round me and I became very uncomfortable. The fuck am I to know who's bein' genuine 'bout wantin' to be my friend. How do I tell the users from those who give a shit?"

@Lily Potter

Lily was left speechless by James outburst. She had no clue he was hurting so much. She frowned and just reached dover and hugged her brother. She held him tightly, "I'm so sorry, James. You shouldn't have to feel like this. I wish I could do something to make it better." She felt helpless at that moment.

@James Potter

James ashed his cigarette onto the nearby side table as tears began flowing out of his eyes.

"I keep makin' bad decisions and wonder why I'm such a bloody idiot. Didn't ask for a fuckin' kid to end up part of it, but I gotta be responsible for once..."

He leaned his head into Lily. "And I bloody hate Alayna Nott. Hate! Hate Hate!"

@Lily Potter

"You're not an idiot. You may have made some.bad decisions, and I'm not talking about your sexuality. It'll be ok. You won't be doing it alone. You know mum won't leave you by yourself to do this." She stroked his hair and smiled at him, the way he did for her when she was upset. "I don't get what's going between you two. But I think it may just be best to keep away from her. Don't invite the drama."

@James Potter

"I am a bloody idiot! I keep makin' awful mistakes with no fix in sight!"

James pouted as a small audience formed near the stairs leading to the dormitories.

"She said somethin' she knew would piss me off, and I lost my temper! Now I'm prolly gonna lose one of the few people I could consider a genuine friend! Why? 'Cause I have no bloody filter!"

@Lily Potter

Lily noticed the crowd forming and gripped her wand, "What the hell are you staring at!? Get out of here! Or youre gonna get a bat bogey hex that will take days to undo!" She got her gift with that spell from her mother. She watched as most of the group dispersed. She frowned and rubbed James back, "Maybe you won't. There's a chance he will still be friends with you."

@James Potter

He shook his head not feeling the most optimistic about it.

"Most blokes get uncomfortable when they realize a bloke they hang with is gay. I just don't want 'im to think that I just want to get laid like how Alayna's paintin' it..."

James slouched down as Lily tried to comfort him.

"Lils, do I really destroy ev'rything I touch?"

@Lily Potter

"Well maybe he's not most blokes. You gotta give him a chance." She said giving him a smile. She hated seeing him so upset. She wanted to fight Alayna Nott for causing her brother this much pain. "No of course not, James. I don't want you to ever tell yourself that. You're great. And I love you. I'm so lucky to have you as my brother."

@James Potter

"Thanks, Lils..."

James still couldn't understand why Al had such a vendetta against him. He couldn't help being born or somehow having the personality for popularity!

"Lils, do you know why Al hates me so much? I dunno why he always avoids me. Did I do somethin' to him and forgot? I dunno what it woulda been..."

@Lily Potter

When he asked about Albus she frowned, "I have no clue. We aren't really that close either. I feel like he often avoids me. I just think he has his own stuff going on. We don't really talk much as siblings. Which is weird because we're Weasleys. And you know how Weasleys are about family." She was rambling out of nerves.

@James Potter

"Yeah, Fred and Lou Lou feel more like bros to me 'cause we've always been close, y'know."

He paused as the house elf returned with tea for them. James thanked them with a wave aa he watched them leave.

"I'm not ready to be a father, Lils. I skipped the dance so I could deal with it..."

Plus he couldn't bear to see Alayna's mug and grubby hands all over Lien.

@Lily Potter

"I feel the same way. Fred has always been there to make me laugh and Louis is just the kindest guy on earth. He's always there for me when I need it. So I understand completely." She smiled at the house elf and poured two cups of tea, fixing it the way she liked with milks dabs year and a dash of honey. "I know you aren't James. But it's gonna be ok. You will figure it out."

@James Potter

"Now I gotta go to class with all of my peers seein' me differently! How do ye recover from that? Might as well drop out once the sprog's born 'cause I'll have my inheritance, and I can just get my equivalent diploma..."

His impulsiveness would often lead him to make outrageous plans that he, usually, ended up not carrying out.

@Lily Potter

"You act like it doesn't bother. You ignore there stares and there comments. Because they can't hurt you if you don't let it hurt you." She said, trying to give her best advice. She had no clue how to really help James through all of this. "You can't just drop out." She hated the idea of her brother just giving up all because of one thing happening.

@James Potter

"That's easy for ye to say 'cause yer the youngest. Everyone's laurels ain't on ye..."

James looked down at his lap as his sister advised against dropping out.

"But how am I supposed t' be there for the kid's milestones?"

He was already finding something to distract himself from the pain of potentially losing Lien in his life.

@Lily Potter

Lily frowned a bit. It wasn't her fault she was the youngest. But she also had her own proble.s. She just didn't plague her family with them, so everything seemed fine. She bit her lip at his question, "I'm not sure James. I'm sure you two will figure something out." Maybe the equivalent diploma was the best course of action for her. But it hurt her heart to see him have to do that.

@James Potter

"I hope so. Evelyn prolly doesbt wanna talk to me, and I dunno how I'm gonna solve that..."

Knowing that there had been a few audience members in the common room suddenly became a huge source of stress. He pressed the palm of his hands against his head as a sense of dread filled him.

"I gotta get outta 'ere, Lils!"

He began scrambling for his invisibility robe. "Get stuff out of my trunk, will ye? I can't be in 'ere much longer..."

@Lily Potter

"All you can do is talk to her. Explain your side of everything. It's not like this is something you can help." She said in a calm voice. She was confused when her brother suddenly was talking about leaving now, "Wait a minute. What? James you can't just leave Hogwarts." This was absolutely crazy.

@James Potter

"Fuck sake, Lils. I'm not leavin' campus. I just can't be in 'ere. Find me in the music room or somewhere near it."

James threw on his invisibility cloak and dashed out of the common room.

@Lily Potter

Lily felt slightly relieved that he wasn't planning on just disappearing. With him, right now, she didn't know. When he left she did as he asked and gathered a few items from his trunk to bring him later on. She didn't want anyone following her asking questions.

@James Potter

Once James made it to his first hiding spot, he messaged Lily and turned off his notifications altogether. He couldn't take it anymore.

@Lily Potter